she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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