Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
