Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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