i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
