Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I didn't notice because vodka
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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