so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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