Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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