I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
