No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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