Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
