Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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