I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
North Korea, Best Korea!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
