I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
