Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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