we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
