So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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