I want to walk on stilts...naked
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize