If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
