You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
