You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
