Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hippo gnu deer
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
