are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
