Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
