Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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