Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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