his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize