I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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