of course. lets lasso hookers.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
