bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
