my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
