if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize