i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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