so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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