we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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