She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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