we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
