i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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