guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
