Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize