By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
