Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
