Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize