I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
