I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
