I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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