do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
