Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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