We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
