Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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