Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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