I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize