That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
