So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
